Midgets on mini bikes

A few months ago my roommate, Brian, walked into the house we share with my older brother and his older brother (we're a thirty something version of Animal House, except with bigger bellies, less sex, but roughly the same amount of beer), and asked, "When was the last time you saw a midget riding a mini bike?"

I put my game of Halo on pause, stared at him and thought a) what?, and b) what's the joke? So I waited for him to continue with a punchline or go on with the story.

"Dude, there's a midget riding a mini bike outside," he said.

OK, I thought, this I have to see. I open the front door and sure enough, a midget on a mini bike is riding up and down the street. Better still, it wasn't even really an mini bike. It's what is called a pocket bike, which are even smaller than mini bikes and are designed to look like full-size race bikes.

In and of itself, a midget on a mini bike doesn't make a great story, but it does illustrate the hollowness of political correctness. PC orthodoxy tells us that we're bad people for finding humor in the fact that we saw a grown man (ouch! pardon the pun), who happens to be three feet tall, riding the only motorcycle he is physically capable of riding. After all, who would think it's funny to laugh at a guy in a wheelchair?

Both are instances of people dealing with the limitations placed on them by the powers that be, and yet, we find one to be funny and one not to be. I don't know whether that's a product of our culture or if it's hard wired into humanity. Don't get me wrong, there is such a thing as civility and politeness, so I wouldn't think about laughing at the guy to his face, but I do believe that we lose something when we deny something that's intrinsic to us.

The point is, I don't think it makes us bad people to notice, and even find humor in the differences and oddities that abound in humanity.

Oh yeah, later the midget tied a rope to the bike and towed his full-sized friend up and down the street while he sat in an office chair. I don't care how PC you are, that is definitely funny.

Is the political correctness half empty or half full?

I have mixed feelings about this.

News from the last issue of San Antonio College's student newspaper, The Ranger, has a story about the college's search for another mascot to "augment" (they don't want to catch hell from those on the other side of the issue, so he's not being replaced) their existing mascot, the Ranger.

The Ranger has been the school mascot for about 80 years, and the culprit is the insensitivity or perceived insensitivity embodied by the mascot, which makes this similar to the NCAA's gripe about team names or mascots with American Indian names or iconography. The difference though, is that you shouldn't feel bad about seeing 80 years of tradition step out of the spotlight, because there never really was a tradition to begin with. San Antonio College has had a barely there or nonexistent college athletic program for decades, and in fact, prior to this story, most students there couldn't have told you what the mascot was to begin with (and I should know, I went to school there).

It's mostly a just compromise to only "augment" and not replace the Ranger, but there is still a large amount of unseemly oiliness to the decision. If the Ranger is racist and offensive to hispanics (that's what the those in favor allege), then replace him, if he isn't, leave him alone.

I suspect a big factor in this wishy-washy decision was that if they did replace the mascot, they'd also have to rename the school newspaper, which is a brand name in college publications in the state, and consistently ranks pretty high among non daily college newspapers in the state.

While the decision was good politics on the part of the administration, I wish a decision had been made one way or the other. The ensuing controversy would have ensured a good old fashioned fight, and then maybe some of the more rabid "rangers were/are a racist organization" types could be shown to be the fools they are.

There's some truth to what they're saying (but can you tell me what 19th century law enforcement agency has a sparkling record in regards to race?), but the fact of the matter is that these people exaggerate, cite out of context, and even lie outright about the past to attack the culture of people in the present.

Only this time, we fought back. Oh, I guess we didn't. Like I said, I have mixed feelings about this.